“So. Carrie. You have to do a reading in front of a bunch of people for a friend’s book launch. And you haven’t done that in a long while and now you’re shitting tacks about what if you suck and what if your hands and voice tremble and everyone hates your story and starts crying because you’ve ruined their evening, and possibly even their lives. Listen, sweetheart. You see what I’m doing here? You’ve done this shit before. Remember, when you hired that trainer and she destroyed your ass every week? Remember, that time you ran 13 miles for no reason other than a commemorate pint glass and a technical shirt? Remember, how you used to teach fucking high school Spanish to 250+ kids five days a week? You’ve done harder things than have a few drinks and read a thousand words to a crowd of people who love books. They’re not there for you, anyway, so fucking chill already. Lemme finish these reps and I’ll come over there and kiss your forehead for a bit, allright?”
